Sunday, June 12, 2011

The Theology of Exhaustion

I don't mean to whine. I know that lots of folks are busy.

I am tired. I am so tired that I cannot make a meaningful contribution to a conversation with my wife about upcoming birthday parties and whether to buy new cushions for the outside furniture. I am so tired that random songs are going through my head with no explanation - today it is "Pancho and Lefty" and "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?".

So, not to whine, but here are my last six days - I taught at a trial college for 30 excellent young lawyers who want to get better. When your students are 27-to-40-year-old professionals, there is no letting up or sliding. You have to bring it, constantly, for four days from 8 till 6. Then, each night of the college, there were fun but draining social events. Two of the nights, I took friends from the college to see Gena and my two daughters in a local production of "The Sound of Music." (I guess that explains one of the songs in my head.) One night was a ball game, and one night was our traditional trip to Trail Dust to go dancing with the students. To top it off, Saturday morning brings a mock trial for the benefit of the students, and this year, I was one of the participants in the mock trial.

The college was over at noon on Saturday, and I promptly drove to Houston for a wedding, after which I drove back home, arriving at 2:30 this morning. Later this morning, I taught Sunday School, sang in the choir, saw my two older kids off to youth camp, and brought my youngest and her friend home for a sleepover.

I had to clean the pool filters.

Enough whining.

In the midst of all this, God speaks.

Not, today, with complex deontological prompts. Not in eight-part harmony. No, today, I hear the age-old message to be still and know that He is God. Today I hear, through the haze, that it is all ok, that I can let down for an hour or two, that I am covered in the cleft of the rock.

Jesus famously told his apostles to go away with Him to rest. In truth, He did not get much rest, since the demoniacs and the physically ill and the hungry never left - or leave - Him alone. But He calls for me to rest, and to rest with Him.

Frantic pace is not bad... it is just frantic. It needs some balance.

Today, I am finding that balance in a simple concept - when I can't, He can. When I am weak, He is strong. He watching over Israel slumbers not, nor sleeps.

It is ok for me to be exhausted, to whine a little, and to take a nap.

He's got me covered today.

No comments: